As you can see from my recent blogs I have been doing a "Happy Birthday" blog for each of our children. This may seem a bit excessive, (almost exploitive), but the only readers I seem to have for my blog are my children so it gives them an opportunity to see each other's baby and photo albums online. This undoubtedly leads to some gentle teasing...sometimes boardering on not so gentle...even approaching laugh out loud guffaws at the expense of their siblings. Today's blog won't lead to any laughing, or teasing. Today's blog is a serious blog and I warn you that it may be somewhat disturbing.
If you are easily upset or distressed by disturbing images please stop reading when I say that you should stop reading. My intention is not to upset anyone. My intention is to tell the life story of my third son, born on this day 30 years ago...
So come along, at least for a little while and meet our precious son, Jeremy John Mooney.
This is Jeremy on this day, 30 years ago - June 28, 1979.
His delivery was an easy one, at least for him. Judy might remember otherwise.
Jeremy was a smaller baby than either of his older brothers.His oldest brother James arrived weighing in at 8 lbs 15 oz.
His next older brother Justin weighed in at 7 lbs 14 oz.
Little Jeremy came in weighing 6lbs 13 oz.He was smaller, and had delicate, fine features...he was beautiful!
Judy and I had started our family early in our young lives. We had our first child, James when we were 21 years old and added Justin when we were 22. Judy just loved having a baby to mother. She wanted to continue our family and her heart was yearning for a baby to cuddle when her big boys would soon go off to school. Jeremy was our first planned child. We awaited his arrival with tremendous anticipation.
Our many friends and church family made sure that Jeremy's arrival was recognized as can be seen from the numerous flower arrangements sent to Judy and Jeremy in the hospital.
As usual Judy hand knit a gender neutral baby sleeper to bring Jeremy home in, from the hospital. As I mentioned in an earlier blog we lived in the old days when there weren't weekly ultrasounds. We always went to the hospital completely oblivious to the sex of the child we would be bringing out of the delivery room.
Our many friends and church family made sure that Jeremy's arrival was recognized as can be seen from the numerous flower arrangements sent to Judy and Jeremy in the hospital.
As usual Judy hand knit a gender neutral baby sleeper to bring Jeremy home in, from the hospital. As I mentioned in an earlier blog we lived in the old days when there weren't weekly ultrasounds. We always went to the hospital completely oblivious to the sex of the child we would be bringing out of the delivery room.This is Judy and Jeremy moments after bringing Jeremy home from the hospital.
Here he is in angel white. Mama is barely more than a child herself as you can see. But we thought we were pretty grown up by this time...I mean we were 26....who would ever have thought that we would be that old?
What a beautiful little boy!
For some reason we had a family picture taken that year. It may have been for a church directory or something. We are so thankful that we have this precious record of our entire family at that time.
This is Justin aged 4, Judy holding Jeremy at just around 6 weeks old, me and James aged 5.
From Dr. Sommerville's office we went directly to the Holy Cross Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit.
Here he is in angel white. Mama is barely more than a child herself as you can see. But we thought we were pretty grown up by this time...I mean we were 26....who would ever have thought that we would be that old?
What a beautiful little boy!For some reason we had a family picture taken that year. It may have been for a church directory or something. We are so thankful that we have this precious record of our entire family at that time.
This is Justin aged 4, Judy holding Jeremy at just around 6 weeks old, me and James aged 5.It was shortly after our family picture that Judy took Jeremy to Dr. Heimbach, our pediatrician for his 6 week check-up. We went into that six week check-up without a care in the world. Everything seemed to be normal and we were on top of the world.
During the check-up Dr. Heimbach detected a "slight" heart murmur. He assured us it was nothing to be concerned about but wanted us to see another doctor for a second opinion. We were sent to see Dr. Sommerville, a pediatric cardiologist.
From Dr. Sommerville's office we went directly to the Holy Cross Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit.This is a very proud dad with a very sick little boy.
We spent a few days in the NICU while the doctors did a series of tests to try and diagnose what exactly was wrong with Jeremy's tiny heart.
We went through a series of tests as the doctors tried to zero in on a treatement that would stabilize Jeremy's heart.
Jeremy was happy and smiling through this entire ordeal.
I will stop talking now and let you absorb the photos of Jeremy John in the early days of his illness.
Once Jeremy was stabilized and a dosage of digoxin was determined we were able to take Jeremy home.
Jeremy was out of the hospital and the expectation was that with stringent medical care we could manage Jeremy's heart condition and hopefully get him closer to a year old before we tried to correct his condition with surgery.
But those hopes were short lived. Jeremy was soon back into congestive heart failure.
We spent a few days in the NICU while the doctors did a series of tests to try and diagnose what exactly was wrong with Jeremy's tiny heart.
Jeremy was suffering from congestive heart failure.
We went through a series of tests as the doctors tried to zero in on a treatement that would stabilize Jeremy's heart.
Jeremy was happy and smiling through this entire ordeal.
I will stop talking now and let you absorb the photos of Jeremy John in the early days of his illness.
Once Jeremy was stabilized and a dosage of digoxin was determined we were able to take Jeremy home.
Jeremy was out of the hospital and the expectation was that with stringent medical care we could manage Jeremy's heart condition and hopefully get him closer to a year old before we tried to correct his condition with surgery.
But those hopes were short lived. Jeremy was soon back into congestive heart failure.
So it was back to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit.
This cycle, in and out of intensive care, continued for the next two months.
In these picture you can start to see that Jeremy was losing weight and beginning to look very frail.
His body was failing.
But his spirit was soaring. He was the happiest little boy.
The boy in the bubble!
But still losing weight...
It was starting to become clear that we wouldn't be able to get Jeremy to a year old before he would face surgery.
When he would see or hear Judy come into the ICU room his face would light up and his smile would melt your heart.
This is Judy feeding Jeremy his lunch. Judy would go back and forth from our home to the Holy Cross for every feeding. She would hold him and cuddle him and when he would go to sleep she would head home to take care of the older boys. Then she would get back in the car and head back across the city to be with Jeremy when he woke up.
This is the smile I remember from Jeremy. It was heart melting...the most beautiful smile from a baby so young, 3 months old, and so sick.
Notice the little bear on top of his bubble and the boxing gloves hanging at one end.
Judy kept up a relentless pace...what a mother won't do for her children...she cared for all of them...and thought nothing of it.
But things were not getting any better.
Jeremy was getting weaker and Dr. Sommerville had been in touch with other Pediatric Cardiologists to weigh out the options. 
We flew through the night and landed in Rochester, Minnesota where we were taken to St. Mary's hospital, the Mayo Clinic.
This is a pictoral explanation of Jeremy's congenital heart defect. Jeremy had a condition known as Truncus Arteriosus.
When we got to see Jeremy in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at St. Mary's he was covered with tubes, sensors, probes, wires and needles.
Judy and I have never been in such distress...
We had never been under such stress any worry...
You can't understand the agony and helplessness of watching your precious child suffer...
Judy and I had each other...
and our faith in God...
This cycle, in and out of intensive care, continued for the next two months.
In these picture you can start to see that Jeremy was losing weight and beginning to look very frail.
His body was failing.
But his spirit was soaring. He was the happiest little boy.
The boy in the bubble!
But still losing weight...
It was starting to become clear that we wouldn't be able to get Jeremy to a year old before he would face surgery.
When he would see or hear Judy come into the ICU room his face would light up and his smile would melt your heart.
This is Judy feeding Jeremy his lunch. Judy would go back and forth from our home to the Holy Cross for every feeding. She would hold him and cuddle him and when he would go to sleep she would head home to take care of the older boys. Then she would get back in the car and head back across the city to be with Jeremy when he woke up.
This is the smile I remember from Jeremy. It was heart melting...the most beautiful smile from a baby so young, 3 months old, and so sick.
Notice the little bear on top of his bubble and the boxing gloves hanging at one end.
Judy kept up a relentless pace...what a mother won't do for her children...she cared for all of them...and thought nothing of it.
But things were not getting any better.
Jeremy was getting weaker and Dr. Sommerville had been in touch with other Pediatric Cardiologists to weigh out the options.One day I got a call at work to come home. We were told to pack our bags and be at the hospital within a couple of hours and that we may be gone for an extended period of time.
At the hospital we were joined by Dr. Sommerville and a nurse, taken to a waiting ambulance and whisked to the Calgary airport where we boarded this chartered Lear Jet.
We flew through the night and landed in Rochester, Minnesota where we were taken to St. Mary's hospital, the Mayo Clinic.
THIS IS WHERE YOU SHOULD STOP IF YOU ARE EASILY UPSET BY DISTURBING IMAGES.
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This is a pictoral explanation of Jeremy's congenital heart defect. Jeremy had a condition known as Truncus Arteriosus.
Simply put, the plumbing in his heart was defective and his blood cycled from his heart to his lungs and back with limited blood being distributed to the rest of his tiny body.
When we got to see Jeremy in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at St. Mary's he was covered with tubes, sensors, probes, wires and needles.
Judy and I have never been in such distress...
We had never been under such stress any worry...
You can't understand the agony and helplessness of watching your precious child suffer...Judy and I had each other...
and our faith in God...
We prayed and we prayed....and we worried...and we prayed...
This is Jeremy moments before they wheeled him down the hall on his way to surgery. 
He lookes so tiny and frail. We had been so close to him through this whole ordeal that we really didn't see how frail he had become.
We had his funeral in Calgary in the morning and then, after a short luncheon we got in our cars and drove the 9 hours to Weyburn for Jeremy's burial.
Uncles Dean and Ed were the pall bearers for the tiny casket.
Jeremy is buried in Weyburn, SK beside his Grandfather John Mooney and was joined 20 years later by his grandmother, Clarice Mooney. 
This is Jeremy moments before they wheeled him down the hall on his way to surgery. Words can't explain the agony you experience as you walk down a hallway, holding on to your child, rapidly approaching a door that you know you will not be allowed to pass through. And then you have to do it. You have to let go.
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My Remembrance Day post from last November 9 details what happened next. You can access it if you wish by going to the very bottom of this blog and when it stops scrolling down you should see a place to select "older blogs". If you click on this you can then scroll down to November 9, "Remembrance Day".
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THE PHOTOS THAT FOLLOW ARE NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART
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We were in tremendous despair. All we could think about was getting out of Rochester and getting back to our family and friends as fast as we could. We were two kids all alone and knew we were in trouble if we didn't get around some people who we could cry with.
We were in tremendous despair. All we could think about was getting out of Rochester and getting back to our family and friends as fast as we could. We were two kids all alone and knew we were in trouble if we didn't get around some people who we could cry with.
Thank God for our church friends who met us at the airport...they will always be our most precious friends.
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Now we are back in Calgary, a few days later, sharing a few minutes alone with our Jeremy. Judy is sitting quietly staring at our baby, and remembering. We brought his little bear and his boxing gloves that had been with him through his fight from the start. He was such a little fighter...
He lookes so tiny and frail. We had been so close to him through this whole ordeal that we really didn't see how frail he had become.
We had his funeral in Calgary in the morning and then, after a short luncheon we got in our cars and drove the 9 hours to Weyburn for Jeremy's burial.
Uncles Dean and Ed were the pall bearers for the tiny casket.
Jeremy is buried in Weyburn, SK beside his Grandfather John Mooney and was joined 20 years later by his grandmother, Clarice Mooney. I remember driving out of the cemetery and looking back, out the back window of the car and seeing this tiny blue casket, sitting all alone in the cold November wind...and my heart nearly broke.
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Jeremy's Obituary
30 years have diminished the incredible pain. Where there was once an almost unbearable ache in my heart there is now a different phenomenon. It's as if there is a compartment in my heart that, when opened releases uncontrollable emotion. But the emotion is not attached to pain but rather to love. The ache has been replaced by a warm confidence that it is all right. The emotion is uncontrollable in the sense that their are instant tears, sobbing and difficulty controlling speech or even talking. But the pain is gone. The memories flood back and bring with them the emotion...and it is warm...and it is welcome.
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I leave you with a poem by Edgar A. Guest
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"I'll lend you for a little while
A child of mine," God said,
"For you to have the while he lives,
And mourn for when he's dead.
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It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three;
But will you 'till I call him back
Take care of him for me?
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He'll bring his charms to gladden you
and, should his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories
As a solace for your grief.
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I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return;
But there are lessons taught below
I want this child to learn.
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I've looked the whole world over
In search for teachers true;
And from the throngs that crowd life's land,
I have chosen you.
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Now, will you give him all your love
Nor think the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to take
This lent child back again?"
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I fancied that I heard them say:
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done.
For all the joys Thy child will bring
The risk of grief we'll run.
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We'll shelter him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may.
And for the happiness we've known
forever grateful stay.
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But should Thy angel call for him
Much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand."
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People aren't supposed to bury their children. Perhaps that is why it is such a tragic and traumatic event.
People aren't supposed to bury their children. Perhaps that is why it is such a tragic and traumatic event.
But it is a very common event.
If you're interested check out this blog
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If you go to this blog take the time to watch the video interview with Carly Marie Dudley.
It will help you understand what she is trying to accomplish with her blog.
I hope this hasn't been a traumatic read for you...it's been therapeutic for me.
And soon...July 10th...I feel another "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" blog coming on....stay tuned.
