Advice From a Retired Husband

It is important for men to remember that as their wives grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some women are overly sensitive, and there's nothing worse that an overly sensitive woman.



My name is Jack. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Judy. When I retired a few years ago it became necessary for Judy to get a full time job, along with her part time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working I noticed that she was beginning to show her age.



I usually get home from the Golf Club about the same time she gets off the bus from work. Although she knows how hungry I am she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her...instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me up when she gets my dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the Golf Club, so going out again for dinner is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door.



She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her, (several times) each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.



Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But boys, we take 'em for better or worse, right? So I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.



When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break last Saturday morning when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice big cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit by me here in the shade for a while. Oh, and as long as she is making one for herself she may as well make one for me too.



I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Judy. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult if not impossible. Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys...even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this posting, I will consider that writing it was well worth while. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other, right?



EDITOR'S NOTE:

Jack died suddenly on 1 September of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50 inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end...with barely 5 inches of grip showing...and a sledge hammer nearby. His wife Judy was arrested and charged with murder. The all woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her not guilty...accepting her defence that Jack, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his own golf club.

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OK...OK...I know that this post has generated a level of disgust among all readers...(especially you Nicola, and you Jennifer, and definately you Brandi) but just for the record...it isn't true...at least not all of it.

I received this "humorous" post in an e-mail from one of my friends, Danielle McKearney. I too felt a certain level of disgust when reading it. I also found it humourous. But honestly I felt a little bit of shame as well.

As you can probably tell the names have been changed to not protect the not so innocent.

You see, I am "retired", at least partially, and Judy is working full time...but she doesn't have a part time job...at least not yet...(feeble attempt at humour).

Judy likes the company she works for, she enjoys the people she works with, she enjoys the social interaction and the feeling of accomplishment and contribution. But, in the back of her mind she would like to be retired, and have the freedom and time to be a mama and a grandma and a wife and a friend. (Things she already accomplishes...and very well.)

And I want to stay retired (at least from punching some employer's time clock) but enjoy working full time (on a self employed basis) by using my knowledge and experience and the skills that I am very good at...and up until the last few months that is what I have done.

But, with the economic downturn the main clients that I have are struggling financially. They still have ample work that they need me to do for them but they don't have ample money to pay me for doing the work. So although I am busy, I am, for the first time in our married lives, not the main "breadwinner" in our family. This is difficult for an "old school", "conservative", "male chauvenist", "red neck", "cave dweller" like me to deal with.

You see, I get up with Judy every morning, very early. I drive Judy to work and drop her off at the door to her building every morning, as I have for the past 7 years (she doesn't take the bus). I come back to the house and get busy doing my work. I don't golf. I don't eat out at the Golf Club. I don't have a "Big Bertha" (thank goodness). And I schedule my day around being back in front of her building, on time, every afternoon to pick her up at the door and bring her home.

So far it's not too bad...



But then the story hits home...Judy gets in the door from working all day and loves to sit down and watch Dr. Phil, or Judge Judy, depending on the time. I don't have supper waiting for her. (When I was the one working outside the home she always had supper waiting for me when I got home from work). I usually go to my home office and try to finish up whatever I was working on during the day. She makes supper and lets me know when it is ready. Sometimes she even has to wake me up and let me know that supper is ready. (Shame on me)



I printed out the original e-mail from Dani and gave it to Judy to read on the way to work yesterday. She laughed...but she also cried...and that tells the story from her side...it obviously hits a little close to home for her as well...



Only a dummy wouldn't get the point...I guess I better do better...and I will.



I asked Judy to add her thoughts at the end of this posting. She said that she would make her comment as a comment...so look for Judy's perspective there.

Egg McMooney - The Perfect Breakfast

Years ago...lots of years ago...I sold my 250 Can-Am motorcycle to buy my wife an Amana Radar Range. The thing was huge, and expensive (the Radar Range not the Can-Am)...and you couldn't ride it like the Can-Am...but it was the latest and the greatest new thing that was supposed to make your wife happy...(and we all know that a happy wife is a good thing)...especially for a less than perfect husband.

I didn't know much about micro wave ovens but I had seen the "Radar Range" on "The Price is Right" or some such TV show and thought that it must be the one to have.

One thing I had heard about micro wave ovens was that you couldn't cook eggs in them. Well, I was young and knew pretty much everything there was to know about pretty much everything there was to know, so I set out to show the world that you could, in fact, cook an egg in the micro wave.

After a few minor explosive events...(it's amazing how one little egg can cover so much of the inside of one of those ovens)... I experienced success. The following recipe (instructions on cooking the now world famous "Egg McMooney") is the result of my experiments.

WHAT YOU NEED: (every recipe should start with this...kinda like the "some assembly required" instructions do)

1. A microwave oven
2. A toaster
3. A cereal bowl (cereal bowl should be about as big around as a piece of bread...you'll see why when we get to the end)
4. A small plate that can cover the top of the cereal bowl without falling off (this cuts down on the cleanup of the inside of the microwave)
5. A cutting board
6. Another small plate (like your typical bread & butter plate)
7. A paper towel
8. A knife
9. A spoon
10. One large egg (raw not cooked...duh)
11. One slice of bacon
12. One mushroom (or two if one is real small)
13. A brick of cheddar cheese (I like "Old" but you can even use "Marble")
14. Salsa (I like it "HOT"...but you might not)
15. One slice of low fat cheese (like you would put on a hamburger)
16. Two slices of bread
17. A dinner plate upon which to serve what's coming (to eat off of might be more clear)
18. An oven mit or a dish towel

WHAT YOU DO:

1. Using #8 (a knife) cut up #11 (the one slice of bacon) into small "bite sized" pieces on #5 (the cutting board) (it's easier to cut cold bacon than molten bacon...at least on the fingers holding the bacon...and the cutting board will save your counter top)
2. Put the "bite sized" pieces of #11 (bacon) on #6 (another small plate)
3. Put the #6 (another small plate) with the bite sized pieces of #11 (bacon) into the #1 (microwave oven) and cover it with #7 (a paper towel)
4. Cook in #1 (microwave oven) for about a minute and a half (two minutes for the squeemish)
5. While this is cooking, break the shell of #10 (one large egg) and put the innards (not the shell) of #10 (the egg) into #3 (cereal bowl)
6. Take #12 (mushroom(s)) and using #8 (a knife) cut it/them into tiny little pieces on #5 (the cutting board) - (it's probably a good idea to wash the #12 (mushroom(s)) before you cut them up...you know what they grow them in ....right?) and throw all of the tiny little pieces into the #3 (cereal bowl) with the innards of the #10 (egg). (From this point on we'll refer to this developing concoction as "fix'ins")
7. Take the #13 (brick of chosen cheese) and using #8 (knife) cut off a chunk...like about as much as you'd like to eat right then and there...on the #5 (cutting board)
8. Then using the same #8 (knife) and the #5 (cutting board) cut the chunk of #13 (chosen cheese) into "itty bitty bite sized chunks" and throw all of them into #3 (cereal bowl) with the rest of the fix'ins (At this point you will probably want to cut off another chunk of #13 (chosen cheese) and just eat it...)
9. Take about a table spoon or two of the #14 (salsa) and pour it into the #3 cereal bowl with the fix'ins
10. By this time your #11 (bacon) should be well done...using #18 (oven mit or dish towel) take it out of the #1 (microwave), take all of the "bite sized" pieces of #11 (bacon) and put them in the #7 (paper towel) and soak up the excess grease. Then throw all of the #11 (bacon) pieces into the #3 (cereal bowl) with the rest of the fix'ins. (you can now throw the greasy #7 (paper towel) into the trash.
11. You now have all of the ingredients (fix'ins) in the #3 (cereal bowl)
12. Using the #9 (spoon) mix all of the ingredients until they are a complete mess...make absolutely certain that the innards of the #10 (egg) are completely encompassing all of the other ingredients and that everything is completely gooey from the innards of the #10 (egg)...then you know it's ready to go.
13. Put the #3 (cereal bowl) with all the fix'ins in the #1 (microwave oven) and cover the #3 (cereal bowl) with the #4 (small plate) - cook on high power for about 3 minutes
14. While all this is cooking in the #1 (microwave) take the #16 (two slices of bread) and put them in the #2 (toaster) and toast them. (Your egg and your toast will be done about the same time...amazingly)
15. When the # 1 (microwave) dings indicating that the cooking is done - and your toaster pops up indicating that the #16 (two pieces of bread) are toasted to perfection:
16. using the #18 (oven mit or dish towel) take the #4 (small plate) off the top of the #3 (cereal bowl) and put it in the sink or dishwasher if you have one (careful, it's stink'n hot)
17. using the #18 (oven mit or dish towel) take the #3 (cereal bowl) out of the #1 (microwave oven) and set it on the counter (careful here too...just as stink'n hot)
18. take your #16 (two pieces of bread) now toasted to perfection out of the #2 (toaster) and place them on the #17 (dinner plate)
19. using the #18 (oven mit or dish towel) pick up the #3 (cereal bowl) and using the #9 (spoon) loosen the now cooked ingredients from the #3 (cereal bowl) and slide them onto one of the #16 (two pieces of bread) now toasted to perfection.
20. take the #15 (one slice of low fat cheese) and place on the steaming concoction before taking the other piece of #16 (two pieces of bread) now toasted to perfection and place it on top of the entire assembly making what appears to be a sandwich.
21. Using the #8 (knife) cut the sandwich any way you like

You now have a world famous (at least in my little world) Egg McMooney. Enjoy!

SUBSTITUTIONS:

You can use a bagel instead of #16 (two slices of bread)

You can use ham instead of #11 (bacon) and you don't have to cook it so that saves time and mess.

You can use a cheese grater if you have one to grate the #13 (chosen cheese)

You can use a microwave dome to cover what you are cooking in the #1 (microwave oven) if you have one.

Try this recipe...it has been a staple around our house for the last 30 years...just ask anyone...really...

Once you've tried it...leave me a comment and tell me what you think...good eh?

Flowers Have Arrived

Judy and I went to the Saskatoon Farm on Saturday morning to get some hanging baskets for our back yard. Jacqueline is wanting to use our back yard for a few wedding pictures and a bit of entertaining. We waited until this late in the summer (we hadn't even seen anything resembling summer until Saturday) as we usually get some hail here in early July. Hail kinda wreeks havoc with hanging baskets...if you get my drift.

It was really quite fortunate that we waited until we did as the Saskatoon Farm decided to clear their baskets out for $10.00 each...wow...double wow...20 baskets later we have more colour in our back yard than the flags at the United Nations. I had a feeling, so when I drove Judy out to the farm I took my little trailer along...just in case...Hey, 40 years together...even a dummy's gonna catch on to some things.

So, the back yard is now quite splendid with Judy's perrenials and the new hanging baskets. I will give the flowers a few days to acclimatize to their new home before capturing their beauty in photographs. When I do I will post some pictures of "Judy's Garden" so you can enjoy it too.

Until then...stay tuned.

What to do?

Well, I've run out of children. Or maybe that should read, I've run out of children's birthdays to blog about. So now what am I gonna blog about?



Judy's flower gardens are growing but they're not ready for a pictorial presentation yet... I could use last year's pictures and try to make you think the pictures are from this year...but I'd probably get caught and lose my credibility...



Mr. Quincy D. Springer is an amazing dog...but that's my opinion... and I don't want to bore you with my ravings about him...even though they would be well deserved ravings...have I told you what an incredible dog he is? Well, let me tell you...oops...there I go...sorry!!!



Judy will have a birthday...but that's not until October...let's see...Aug...Sep...Oct...that's a thumb and two fingers away...it should be interesting though...ya think?



I do have a half dozen grandchildren...but their parents should get to brag about them...don't wanna be stepping on anyone's thunder or stealing their toes...if you know what I mean...



I could offer good advice...but where would I get that from? ....on second thought, over the years I've learned to give advice only when asked....anything other than that and it ain't advice it's being a "know it all...busy body...control freak" and who needs another one of them...?



Oh well...I'll try to think of something....



If you have any ideas or suggestions, leave a comment...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY - JAMIE

Hello again.

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It's time for us to wish a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our first born son, James Robert Mooney.

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For your information, if you double click on any picture it will zoom in and you can get a better look at it. You can come back to the blog by clicking on the back arrow at the top left side of your screen. I add this for people who are from my vintage...and somewhat technically challenged when it comes to computers.

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So with that let's go and have a look at Jamie's life...to this point...in pictures.

This is Jamie on the day his was born, thirty-five years ago.

It's hard to believe that I've got a middle aged child.

We named Jamie after his great grandfather, my father John's father, James who immigrated to Canada from Northern Ireland in 1912.



His name is James, but we called him Jamie when he was born.



Here's Jamie on the day he came home from the Holy Cross Hospital. He is 4 days old. Yeah, you heard right. In the old days, in ancient times, mothers got to stay in the hospital for four days before being discharged to face the real world with their new baby.

We were sure that we would have a girl. In preparation for our new baby, Judy hand knit a sleeper that was gender neutral to bring the new baby home from the hospital in. As you can see this sleeper has both blue and pink...but mostly pink...Jamie still likes pink.

This is a very proud young man (at age 21, really just a kid himself ) with his first born son. Judy and I were too young and naive to be scared. We should have been more scared...


The reason we were so sure that our first child would be a girl was statistics within our families. I was the only son of an only son. Judy has two sisters and only one brother. Judy's mother's family had only one boy. We thought that the probability of a male child would be slim to none. Boy, were we surprised....our first four children were boys.

Of course, the novelty of a new life had to be captured in pictures. And boy did we take a lot of pictures. Unfortuntely for the younger children, the picture volume decreased for each.

I was working long hours and the kids were often asleep for the night when I got home from work around 8:00 PM and were still sound asleep when I left for work at 6:00 AM. As a result I have a number of pictures of Jamie sound asleep. Here he is with his head on a little elephant pillow that had been mine when I was a child.

Here's the little mama with her first baby...and carrying his soon to arrive little brother.

We lived in Calgary, so we had to have a horse for our little cowboy to ride. And boy could he make this horse bounce.

This is Jamie with my mother, his grandmother, Clarice Mooney. Grandma Mooney spent a lot of time grandmothering the Mooney kids...and they got to know her and love her.

In the background was our family car, a 1969 Camaro RS. We had to upsize to a station wagon a few months later when Justin arrived.

We still have the Camaro sitting in our garage. It still runs.

This is Jamie sitting on his great grandmother Lottie Hurlburt's knee. Next to Grandma Hurlburt is her sister Stella from Holyoke, Colorado. In the baby seat at their feet is our newly arrived second son, Justin Charles. Grandma Hurlburt was very dear to me and my sisters as she really stepped up and helped my mother raise me after my father died when I was a young child.

Here's Jamie on his first birthday. Looks a little apprehensive doesn't he?

This is Jamie's first Christmas. He is just over 5 months old here and looking right at home on Santa's lap.

Jamie's second birthday.

I think this is probably after he ate the whole cake. Or maybe I was "fathering" him and he is not impressed. I've grown accustomed to this look from my children...

Jamie with Judy's dad, his grandfather, Herman Weis.

In the background is my truck and Bobcat. I had changed jobs from being a forman with Standard General Construction to being a self employed Bobcat owner/operator.

From this point on, to the end of high school, the boys were together most of the time. Sometimes they didn't think that was a good thing...sometimes it was almost more than Judy and I could keep up with. Seems like two little boys 11 months apart could get into way more than twice as much mischief as one little boy could.

They shared their birthdays. Justin's second, Jamie's third.

Must be Stampede week in Calgary.

Another birthday, shared. Even Judy is in the Stampede spirit.

But here it looks like the whining helped.

Jamie seems to be having his own birthday cake.

I think that is Grandma, Gladys Weis, next to him.

Jamie may have had his own cake...but Justin was never far away.

And now it's school picture time. This would be ECS at St. Margaret's school in Calgary.

And Jamie in Grade 1 at Collingwood Elementary School in Calgary.

The Jamie I remember well.

Jamie in Grade 2.

This is Jamie and Justin's first hockey team. We never had any intention of putting our kids in hockey but got talked in to it by this coach. The big guy on the right is our long time friend Wayne Holmgren. Double click on the picture and you will see Jamie on the left end of the back row and Justin second from the left end of the front row. For those who know him, Jeffrey Holmgren is in the back row directly behind the goaltender.

Jamie getting his first hockey trophy from Wayne Holmgren. Justin is in the red shirt right behind him.

Looks like another shared birthday party. And now you can see little Josh sitting in the front of the picture, wanting a chance at getting into that cake.

Jamie in grade 3.

This is Justin on the left, with Stephen Courtney in the middle and Jamie on the right. I think they were going door to door asking for bottles. (I think there may have been a bit of fraud involved.) The boys were fairly creative at finding ways to get money.

Judy made these Halloween costumes for the boys. Jamie is a clown and Justin is a cat if my memory serves me correctly.

This is Jamie and his cousin Michael McKinney.

Jamie came home one day and didn't want to be called Jamie anymore. The Bionic Woman television show had come on TV and the character was a girl named Jamie Summers. The kids at school were giving him some grief over having a girls name so he wanted to be called James.

The boys got new house coats for Christmas. I believe they were hand made by their mother.

We moved from Calgary to Regina in 1983. This is James with one of his Regina hockey teams, the Leafs.

5th Grade at Elsie Dorsey School in Regina.

We moved to Estevan in 1985.

This is James with the Estevan Atom Oilers the first year we were in Estevan.

Grade 6 at Pleasantdale Elementary School in Estevan.

James second year in Estevan got him into an incredible hockey group coached by Alan Biette and managed by Bob Cossette.

Grade 7 at Estevan Junior High School.

The second year in Pee Wee AA had a weaker coaching staff. The bearded guy on the left is the head coach...me...we did OK but our success was based more on talent than good coaching.

Grade 8 at Estevan Junior High.

In 1988-1989 James was back into the strong hockey group. He was a first year bantam playing with some outstanding hockey players. They went on to win the Provincial Bantam AA championship and represent Saskatchewan at the Western Canada Purolator Cup Championship.

Grade 9 at Estevan Junior High.

We moved to Calgary during the summer of 1989.

James was the last cut from the Canadian Champion Midget AAA Buffaloes and played on the Midget AA Rangers as a second year bantam.

Grade 10 at Lord Beaverbrook High School in Calgary.

James had to choose between the Junior A Royals and the Midget Triple AAA Buffaloes for his first year of Midget eligibility in Calgary. He chose the Buffaloes so he could play in the Mac's Midget hockey tournament and get a chance to try out with Team Alberta for the Canada Winter Games.

Grade 11 at Lord Beaverbrook.

James played with Team Alberta at the Canada Winter Games. They lost the Gold medal game to Ontario and had to settle for the Silver medal.

James moved to Dauphin, Manitoba for his final year of high school. He wanted to graduate from Western Christian College.

James got to play for the Dauphin Kings Junior A hockey team while attending high school at Western.

This look kind of summarizes James attitude toward school in grade twelve. Up to this point James had been an outstanding student. It seemed that other things, (girls and hockey) had begun to overshadow school in his life.

I can remember trying to get his priorities staight through his early teen years with a saying. As I recall it went something like this..."School's first...Hockey's second...and girls don't exist!" (Wishful thinking, I know!)

Our close friends Doug and Cheryl Cox were the dorm parents at the boarding school in Dauphin, Manitoba. Doug also liked to dabble in photography. He took some of these pictures for James.

James got his wish to graduate from Western Christian College.

And as I said before, the boys were together most of the time. But you can see to the left of the picture that Justin's interests were expanding...that is his future wife Jennifer at his side.

James was scouted by many American Universities and ended up accepting a hockey scholarship from Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island. James graduated from Brown with a degree in Urban Studies.

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James played a year of professional hockey in the East Coast Hockey League.

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James finally opened his eyes and his heart to a young lady from Calgary that he had know for most of his life.

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They were married in 2005.

Their wedding was a beautiful affair at the Calgary Zoo on a gorgeous summer day.

It was incredibly hot and sunny.

The bride was beautiful in white.

The groom was handsome in sweat.

And they lived happily ever after!
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But wait...there's more.

On June 26, 2007 Margaret Olivia, our precious first grandaughter arrived.

They call her Maggie.

She is without a doubt the sweetest little girl in the world.

A proud papa, a beaming mama and a beautiful little girl.

See, I told you that James is still partial to pink.

This is James with Maggie at her first birthday party in 2008.

On April 16, 2009 Maggie got a little sister, Lyla Claire.

This is grandma Judy holding Lyla, who is a few hours old, with sister Maggie and mama Nicola in the background. We are so proud of our two beautiful granddaughters.

I now have one daughter, three daughters-in-law and two grand daughters.

Here's James, Nicola and Lyla just before leaving the hospital

And this is the way they all look now. If you want to know what this picture is about click the link for James and Nic that you can find on the right hand side near the start of this blog.

Well done my son. Your mama and your papa are very proud of you.

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Have a wonderful birthday...

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And more grandchildren would be OK too...I'm just say'in...